Faith, Trust and a little bit of pixie dust.....

I think that's what I need right now.  I'm counting down the last 2.5 hrs of work for the next 6-8 weeks... and I'm in a complete panic.  Why?  I don't know?  I work, that's what I do, everyday... I shouldn't complain, I'm getting full pay the entire time I'm off without having to do the work, sweet deal huh?  another benefits of working for the government, is that some of these long timers have use-or-lose sick leave that they donate to a 'leave bank' and then when people end up having to take alot of time off for an illness or emergency, they can apply for the leave bank to cover some or all of their wages while they are out.  I got approved to have the full 40 hrs a week the entire time I"m out and my short-term disability will kick in as well.... so I'll actually be better off... but I'm completely freaking out!
I haven't had a panic attack like this in ages.  I'm afraid that they'll find they could do without me and when I come back they won't need me anymore, our department is looking to cut 142 positions anyway... my boss was kind of being difficult about this whole thing as she's never taken a sick day in 15 years, not even when her daughter was killed in a car crash... she's much tougher than I am, or she has better drugs.... I couldn't do it.  My kids and my health are more important than my 'not taking a sick day' record.... so she's stressed me a bit...
I'm concerned about finding the 'right' place to live, where the schools are right and the price is right and there's a daycare that can accomidate the boys and get them to and from school and will work with me on my stupid long hours.... I have been applying for different jobs within the state but I'm just not in a position to do anything right now which sucks...
Seems there's a lot going on, ex-sister-in-law had her baby which I'm dying to see but probably won't get too.  Hunter Lynn turns 3 on the 13th and I miss her terribly... My niece is pregnant with boy/girl twins and I'm missing her baby shower because I'll be in the hospital :(  Hopefully I'll have a quick recovery and feel great and be able to get the apt done, and visit people and kind of have part of a summer off, never had that before... well, kind of when the twins were born... but that was more work than work....
So in preparation for my surgery I'm trying to think of all the things I need to do, that I'm stressing about  and the things I think I'll forget...
I'm getting a pedicure tomorrow at 11 with one of the girls from work... figure if I have to be in bed for a few days might as well have smooth heels and happy toes...
I need to..... get my hair cut, cut Shae's hair...., pack the boys stuff to go to moms, ummm..... grocery shop, pack what I need to take to the hospital... see just doing this, I'm like shaking inside, not sure if that is nerves or if Im cold...
so I think I'll stop for now.  
Congrats to my cousin who just found out he's gonna be a daddy... congrats to Joanna and Jeff on their beautiful Easter baby boy, congrats to Tazia...and good luck, cook the twins as long as possible and take it easy... Happy Birthday Hunter Lynn, early I know... stop growing up!
Oh and just a note from my Hunter.... he asked me the other day why everyone calls him "Hunner"  he says " I hate that, My name it HunTER"  lol, I had to explain to him that it was a Utah thing to drop our T's ... bad habit and bad grammar.... so if you talk to him, remember....HunTER....