As I'm bringing the drama in my life to a close, I find myself pretty, well, no so much lonely as just wanting someone to care. I watch my friends and their spouses and the hard times they go through and the devotion and dedication and loyality I see and I hope someday I can have something like that. Not that anything should be that hard. But I see wives, leaving, using, totally walking all over their husbands and the guys just want them to be ok, and make sure they have what they need for the kids and themselves. They spend every minute totally devoted to this life and marriage and woman... Some times I just wonder if I'm not worth the effort. Maybe I was just ment to go through life alone. That all of the loving devoted and honest men are gone or so tainted I don't stand a chance....
It sounds like Im feeling sorry for myself and I'm not. Its just something I want next go around. Someone that will fight to be with me and not walk away... someone that wants to be with me and not cheat... someone that deserves what I have to offer and not take advantage.... I'm just a little lonely, but grateful for what I have here and now.
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